




sometimes , you'd get frustrated by those things that make you fickle , to do it , or not to do it . to pursue it , or just freakin' give it up . to take charge , or just be a follower . to watch you get taken away , or to take you back and make you mine forever .
these things have been haunting me for the past few days , and i admit it , i just can't get enough of you . i don't know about this , but it doesn't really matter that much i guess , there's no Future in this . i try to stay positive , but people do lose hope when there's no improvements in what they are doing . saturday was tiring , but it ended off well with combined cell .
saturday went a 'lil like this : snappy bible study , tuition , game , cell , dinner , home , think , sleep
khalsa 3-1 Bakerites
sunday was adding to the fatigue , and it went like . . . service , lunch , study with sissy and minying , rush home , game , reachin' home late , think and sleep
khalsa 3-1 Ngee Ann Poly
exams have started , warm-up went well in the form of an english paper , and i thank God that i was able to have no difficulties doing it . now , lap 1 will kick off with chinese paper 1 and history . i believe that i'm ready , but as usual , there'll be more room for improvements .
i have felt tiredness at a crappy stage before , but never at this level . maybe the games are draining me , maybe i didn't seek God enough , and these maybes are all true . i thank God for a home that accepts me for who i am , even though i might flare at my family . really appreciate that ~ you have been there all the while , but i have never seized the opportunity;
maybe seeing this from another perspective would soothe the wound . i feel like a pokemon , that just got attacked by my weakness , and i have 0 hp left , i need a pokecenter asap , i need nurse joy . i need Jesus first , Others second , Yourself last .
why is the ' anyone you like? ' question coming back again ? how many times do i have to say that i see no light in relationships , and that lee , jerald , benji , aric , rudi , bernard and my other schoolmates are what keeps me going on smiling ? please , i have seen people falter after everything seemed to be going super well . i can't be bothered and i can't afford to break my heart and all the bullcrap , it's too silly for a 14 year old like me .
i feel like running away , migrate to some other country in the future and hide from everyone in the world .
oh ya , it’s the 10th of 10th of 10th right ? wish that everyone’s wishes would be relished
daily prayer : Heavenly Father , thank You for the day You have crafted for me . i thank You for the people You have placed in my life . thank you for the two victories in two days father . i feel so tired O God , i feel like ending everything as soon as possible . please train me to be more tough , more rough , so that these trials would be peanuts to me , and that i'll be able to soar even greater heights . pray that i'll find rest in You , and that i'll feel comfort when i think of you . all these through Jesus' name , amen C:
- why do we fight ? because we want to retain that specific thing that we treasure , that is dear to our heart , that we love
i need to treasure my family more , or else one day , suddenly , i might not have that chance anymore
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