finding my feet

friendly sunday (:

family breakfast . wait until 1030am for yuan , miss praise and worship /: . service . lunch . slack . vivo with yuan and rudi and gugan . home . family gathering . home . slack . watch liverpool's game (:

3^rd uncle and aunt interrogated me about whether I had a girl , sheesh

tomorrow's gonna be hectic , having training till 12pm , then trevor's tuition at 1230pm , ending no earlier than 330pm , this is so crazy . holidays just started like a week back ? and i have to suffer , but lucky i got jun han with me , good tuition buddy (: i really need God's strength man ! good sermon today , i love Pastor Kong :D he's sucha clever man , wooohooo~

shan't post much tonight , not in the mood to x: i'm facing one of the most tough months in my secondary school life , and i really wish it doesn't turn bad .

i hope the choice i made to cut off friendships will be of use to me , i won't need that much , and i've got more time . it will prove to be a correct choice , i'm sure .

daily prayer : God , i thank you for october , where things were not as bad as expected . i pray that i will learn to put my hopes on You , and not people , because You will not forget Your promise . i need to stop these negative thoughts and start worshipping you like never before . i pray that Your presence will be around everytime i seek you , and that You will help me cruise through november . grace Lord , i need grace . thank You thank You thank You for everything , all these through Jesus' name , amen C:

- the older a person get might not necessarily mean he / she is getting more matured

I’m not gonna miss anyone anymore , it’s a waste of time

i found it

it's been awhile since saturday was so fun , and i really enjoyed every minute of it (: it started off late , as i was lazing on my dear bed , and my silly computer . had a game that clashed with N441's meeting , so i decided to go mama sarah's cell , which was jiayu's N467 cell , and man , they are an awesome batch of warriors that are so lively ! i got sabotaged during games , and yeah what do you expect when you have ji cai + jiayu +weide teamed against you ? i got thrashed . and forfeit was a ri-soy-lime , which was ribena plus soya sauce plus lime , and it tasted good i guess x: hahahahah

had a powerful meeting , sermon was about going through the valley , and that God is always with me . had a really enjoyable time with them , and i left with mama sarah and the oldest man left on earth , caveman ah leong ! :D you should meet him one day if you haven't , he's the best in 'debating' , even mama doesn't wanna go against him , because she believes that she will lose ;P hahahahah had a really really good quality time with them , before separating , as i went sengkang .

JFA 2-0 Khalsa

it was a well-deserved loss , we were lazy and well beaten by a fit and determined side . we're into the semis though , and yeah hope we get to win , but we are the youngest out there , sheesh /: had a superb time with the JFA lads , bullying Aetos as they played Sikhs . Linesh , Yu Sung and Aloysius was laughing super hard along with me xD went for dinner at banquet @ sengkang , before heading to tai seng to meet N441ians (: it was really nice to see them , though it was for just a short while .

accompanied hansheng , jonathan and aric for their dinner , and we had fun as well . aric lost to me in a bet , and he's so gonna get humiliated :D hahahahah a lone bus ride home spelled the end of 30 / 10 , but it was sure rockin' fun (: can't wait for service tomorrow , more and more people coming ! man i'm so happy ! :D

daily prayer : thank You Father for everything You have blessed me with today , i really ha d a fun time in Your presence Lord . continue to let me shine in Your glory Lord , it's my dream to become a leader one day . i believe with more effort and discipline , i will become one . thank You for the people i met today , who put that big smile on my face . i pray You bless them O Lord , abundantly (: as everyday goes by , let me learn more and more new lessons , to become a better christian . thank You once again , all through Jesus' name , amen C:

- Love what you do . Believe in your instincts . And you'd be able to pick yourself up and brush yourself off everyday

you change friends like you're changing clothes , sucha dangerous figure to mix with

never run from god

up the gear , bring it on

i don't like the fact that october is ending and november is starting , i'm gonna die in november , and not make it for december , and i will be buried before 2011 . i really detest w what i can imagine , but afterall , it's a trial , this is when i need to prove that God is my pillar , He's my strength .

friday went okay , passed up my streaming form in the afternoon , after lazing on bed for a few hours . plans altered due to some cheekiness . lunched at home , and computer for the whole afternoon , before heading to CCAB for khalsa training . it wasn't the best of a training to boost myself as i made poor passes and lost possession , very discouraging ): slacked at SPC with aloysius , bernard and rudi for like an hour :D had a really fun time with the staff and talking about all the stuff that you'd never talk about . it has been a long week , ups and downs as usual , and yeah i enjoyed myself (:

gonna head for N467's cell tomorrow for make-up , as i can't attend N441's due to hockey commitments . i feel really stressed because i wanna go for N441's cell group , but the game is last fixture already , against energy-packed side JFA , and i really wanna play against them . well mama sarah and ah ma leila will be there with bernard and i at hougang , so it should be a fun time (:

that's all for today , till tomorrow night , where i will be even more shag than this ): i think the sad face will represent me for november .

p.s : i'm really sorry nicolette , i seriously would love to serve you , but hockey's coming in at a wrong time ): i promise that i will serve after the season , looking forward to it !

p.p.s : here we go again , i have the itch to talk about it , but argh no i'm so not going to start telling the world how wrong you were and how pitiful i am .

daily prayer : God , this is a grueling period of time which i am going to face , i pray that You will come and touch my heart to seek You for strength , to seek You for the ability to break through into a whole new level . let me see O Lord , the almighty power of Yours . let me live by the examples of Heroes of faith in Your word , and that i will find wisdom and grace in between ! all these through Your Son's most precious name , amen C:

- Reality continues to ruin my life

i have an evil plan in mind , but no , i'm not that bad . you can take my closest friends , i have got the others

i wonder what they see in you

Never Let You Go

Nicolette , I just wanna wish you a happy birthday , and I think I'm the last guy on the 28th B) heheheh thanks for being sucha blessing in my life for the past 9 months , and this period of time has indeed passed faster than Fernando Alonso's F1 ! I really enjoyed every moment with you and your charismatic and lively character has made me feel right at home ever since joining N441 ! I thank God for you , who is always encouraging me and advising me when I'm in the wrong and always cheering me on and coming down personally to support me even though you have sucha busy schedule . I really love you a lot , and I hope to be under your great guidance and grow to be a leader in time to come :) really cherish you a lot , heheh lurve you ! :D

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY !

although i have let you down so many times , you will always forgive and forget in seconds , and make me feel good again . you are such a great example that's always laughing and finding out new discoveries ! you really inspire me a lot , and i can see myself helping you out in the future (: don't forget ya , we are going to korea with kids in our hands in 2020 ! hahahahah all those deals and things we make , simply legendary and epic ! :D

- Your leader is a figure that reflects who you will become in the future

love you x100000000 Nicolette ! heheheheh

A New Legacy Takes Place

Today was Mrs Charles farewell party , apart from end-of-term . i don't know why they call it a party when someone's gonna leave S: i was late for school , wearing ankle socks and my favourite vans , but i never got caught , woo~

the farewell party was fairly good enough , and yeah had a lot of fun with benji , jerald , lee and aric around me (: had a fun time poking fun at jerald's crush , and yeah school was over in a zoooooom . was suppose to take a class photo with ms nadiah , but oh well , saints are always so messy , so yeah got dispersed before any camera could appear , hahahah wanted to go penisula with rudi , linesh and gugan , but time was dragged and instead i went to meet cheryl and queen nicolette at sengkang ! was at kfc with the three buds , then mr singh appeared , had a good time talking crap , heheheheh (:

accompanied high flyer cheryl to spinelli ! novena , as she studied , while i took a nap , waiting for aric and wilson :D had a good time with those two , they always make me feel energetic ! (: heheheh dinner at burger king before heading home for round 2 . com's finally fixed , love it :D holidays are here , on the bright side , it's late nights again ! :P heheheh

i just wanna say that Mrs Charles has been awesome , and i hope Mrs Toh wouldn't be of much difference . i would assume that half days are still going to happen ? x: but nobody can replace Mrs Charles , she's always so supportive though she might be fierce . be it studies or sports , she makes sure that you'd get the best possible . she always believes , no matter how much hopes are dashed . she prays and prays and prays for the better and for the best . and i thank God for sucha blessing in my life . she's a living example of faith as they said this morning , so true . thanks Mrs Charles , will miss you !

daily prayer : Father Lord , thank you for a blessing in mrs belinda charles . she has been a faithful servant of yours o god , and i pray you'd bless her abundantly for the rest of her life , as she retires from being a principal . thank you for the example she has been , and no doubt credit to you for that . i pray that i will have the faith she has acquired and that i can soar to greater heights . and i pray for cheryl , thank you for a leader in this petite yet lively figure , i pray you'd bless her and calm her down as she sits for her o level chemistry paper tomorrow . pray you'd bless her . all these through your son's most precious name , amen C:

- no matter how beautiful a story is , there lies an ending waiting to happen .

bye bye mrs charles ! helloo mrs lucy toh !

if i'd get my wish

I don’t wanna fall out
But we’re all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don’t want an ending)
In one day
No way you’ll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don’t want an ending)

Ooohhh…

My heart is running on empty
One more day and then we go
Yeah, the time goes on now
Don’t ask me how
I don’t know
We’ll be home tomorrow
But a thousand miles too far away
Say you won’t forget and i’ll be okay

At least tonight
It’s just you and me and honestly
That’s everything i need

I don’t wanna fall out
But we’re all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don’t want an ending)
In one day
No way you’ll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don’t want an ending)

Tonight’s the countdown
‘Till the day we’re not around
(Is this over?)
(Don’t want an ending)
And you’re gone
And we’re on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don’t want an ending)
I don’t want an ending

Don’t want an ending…

- me too don't want an ending , but all (good) things come to an end , and i just thank god for everything placed in my life . i love this song a lot , so does nicolette , and jerald :d hope you like it as much as we do !

such thing as too early ?

i only have 6 posts for october , and that shows how busy i've been this month i guess ? plus all the problems with my PC , with examinations etc. has made life packed /: all the problems and newfounds have added spice to my life , and all the usual peeps make me tick .

results weren't so impressive amd i think i'm going 3S2 , an average class where geography is compulsory . as much as i wanna make it into 3S1 , 3S2 is the only one that seems more than 50% likely ): but the prospect of being in the same class as wilson , jerald , lee , benji , aric , damon , and maybe faiz makes me tickle , and i feel quite excited about mrs daphne ang's lessons , she's fierce yet good , i would really wanna try her lessons :D

holidays are filled with T's , and the T's are : Trainings , Tuition , Track Session , TIRING . i so hate my holidays , but i wanna taste gold again , and develop my math into one of the tops again . i have to start maturing , or else i will stuck in the lower secondary time frame .

enough about academic and school stuff . i fell out again . but this time , i'm not going to rant . nicolette's teaching me a lot everyday , just by BlackBerry Messenger and i'm lovin' it . i can't possible stay here and rant and waste time . i need God more , so i'm losing a close friend , and yeah life goes on .

activities for next few days :

tomorrow (29/10) : school training in the morning , khalsa training in the evening

saturday (30/10) : cell group clashes with Khalsa vs Aetos , super stressed /:

november : 8 lessons of 3-hour tuitions .

november - december : training , training , training !

that's how holidays should be going , and i pray hard that it will be a smooth one ! i wanna start early to prepare for sec 3 , but do i have the stamina to run that long ? i've got so much holiday plans /:

i feel that i've got so much to write , but i'm so tired , so lazy ):

daily prayer : O god , slow my life down and allow me to mend those small holes that leak . i need to start life again , all over again , from a new perspective . it's gonna be hard , but with you by my side , everything's gonna be alrighty i confess ! i also lift my future into your hands , praying hard that i will be able to get into 3St ! it all depends on you o lord , pray that you will bless my future ! pray all these through jesus' almighty name , amen C:

- Let fairytales remain in storybooks , don't expect too much

thanks mum , i really love you a lot (:

i don't wanna fall out

life hasn't been the best these days . feeling super tired , and exams just finished , i'm supposed to be enjoying everything . but no , i'm gonna start a new lease of life . i cannot stay in the same place forever and yeah i've gotta start planning and mapping out what i want . consulted nicolette last night and yeah i don't want to just be empty talking , i want to make my words count . i didn't do as well as expected for my exams , and i will hate myself for that , but now that i'm free of school life , i have to start shaping my life , to be more god-like and i need to get deeper rooted in the House of God .

i might be sounding naive and stupid here but no , this is kinda serious . the lively boonkiat has to stop and look for awhile . i have done so much sinning in these 14 years , and i really feel guilty about it . 15 doesn't sound like it's ideal to start changing , because secondary 3 is when we go do all the fun things . but i've gotta start early . i need to be discipline , need to stop some stuff , need to block out some people and yeah life has gotta start gettin' better .

and i've got my blackberry data plan already , more active on twitter and bbm now (;

made a new h2h buddy on saturday , and you don't be too sad alright , i've gotcha' back (: i'll look for you if i need a h2h talk also yeah (;

P.S my computer has been down , so i can't start my blogging life again anytime soon , till then , shalom (:

- A change always takes time to adapt

don't hope , pray

chinese paper 1 was okay , i was very lazy to write , and my laziness caused me , not in this paper though . history paper was a fairly difficult paper , and this is where my laziness caught up with me . i wrote without leaving two lines after a question , only left one . had to re-write , and caused me to be unable to finish my 8-marks question . i will kill myself for that , math is up next in lap 2 , and after that 5 hours tuition today , i am riding on a high note , i need to ace that paper michelle cheong has set , and i will justify it with my results . i will make that iTouch mine , i must .

it's been dry inside , somebody come add moist to my walk . i know God is waiting for me , and i'll gladly accept him , no doubt . please pray for my math , thanks , loves (:

daily prayer : father , thank You that i'm able to do my papers today , i've gotta learn more and more , and only You are capable of teaching . open my heart O God , help me to learn to live a better live . pray for the paper tomorrow , that all my knowledge will come into use tomorrow . thank You , all these through Jesus' almighty name , amen C:

- Success is sweet : Sweeter if long delayed and attained through manifold struggles and defeats .

wake me up inside

worth fighting for ?

sometimes , you'd get frustrated by those things that make you fickle , to do it , or not to do it . to pursue it , or just freakin' give it up . to take charge , or just be a follower . to watch you get taken away , or to take you back and make you mine forever .

these things have been haunting me for the past few days , and i admit it , i just can't get enough of you . i don't know about this , but it doesn't really matter that much i guess , there's no Future in this . i try to stay positive , but people do lose hope when there's no improvements in what they are doing . saturday was tiring , but it ended off well with combined cell .

saturday went a 'lil like this : snappy bible study , tuition , game , cell , dinner , home , think , sleep

khalsa 3-1 Bakerites

sunday was adding to the fatigue , and it went like . . . service , lunch , study with sissy and minying , rush home , game , reachin' home late , think and sleep

khalsa 3-1 Ngee Ann Poly

exams have started , warm-up went well in the form of an english paper , and i thank God that i was able to have no difficulties doing it . now , lap 1 will kick off with chinese paper 1 and history . i believe that i'm ready , but as usual , there'll be more room for improvements .

i have felt tiredness at a crappy stage before , but never at this level . maybe the games are draining me , maybe i didn't seek God enough , and these maybes are all true . i thank God for a home that accepts me for who i am , even though i might flare at my family . really appreciate that ~ you have been there all the while , but i have never seized the opportunity;

maybe seeing this from another perspective would soothe the wound . i feel like a pokemon , that just got attacked by my weakness , and i have 0 hp left , i need a pokecenter asap , i need nurse joy . i need Jesus first , Others second , Yourself last .

why is the ' anyone you like? ' question coming back again ? how many times do i have to say that i see no light in relationships , and that lee , jerald , benji , aric , rudi , bernard and my other schoolmates are what keeps me going on smiling ? please , i have seen people falter after everything seemed to be going super well . i can't be bothered and i can't afford to break my heart and all the bullcrap , it's too silly for a 14 year old like me .

i feel like running away , migrate to some other country in the future and hide from everyone in the world .

oh ya , it’s the 10^th of 10^th of 10^th right ? wish that everyone’s wishes would be relished

daily prayer : Heavenly Father , thank You for the day You have crafted for me . i thank You for the people You have placed in my life . thank you for the two victories in two days father . i feel so tired O God , i feel like ending everything as soon as possible . please train me to be more tough , more rough , so that these trials would be peanuts to me , and that i'll be able to soar even greater heights . pray that i'll find rest in You , and that i'll feel comfort when i think of you . all these through Jesus' name , amen C:

- why do we fight ? because we want to retain that specific thing that we treasure , that is dear to our heart , that we love

i need to treasure my family more , or else one day , suddenly , i might not have that chance anymore

The Reason

good day today , enjoyed myself in the super freezy coe room with jerald and lee (: with the biscuits , hot dogs , jokes and the green-blue-green topman jackets :D heheheh school was exceptionally fun , being quarantined in the best place ever , the small coe room , where we have catered food from the canteen , and teachers coming to our class , instead of us going to theirs (;

had to stay back for art after school , and i got owned by ms chua , because i don't know how to do my woodsville wall , even though she went through before -.-" grr ; met rudi and yuan at street and yeah i've deproved quite a bit , all the air con is making me fat and lazy /: that's all for today , gearing up for exams like never before means some sacrifices have to be made . i can't wait for the following week after next , where all havoc will break loose ;D heheheh

now i have given up on everything , so that i can concentrate more on studies . i don't know if it's gonna be a costly mistake or not , but oh whatever~ everyone is taking the end-of-years seriously , for once . i wanna do well , so that :

i can shine for God ,

i can get an iTouch ,

i can get into a good class

i can do 'a' math

i can have a better future

that's all i ask for this 2010 , and i know with time and energy sacrificed to sit down and study , i can relish it ! (:

daily prayer : Father , thank You for everything and all the miracles You have done in me . i pray for my knee as it's experiencing pain , i pay that You will come and heal it with Your touch . and Lord , i wanna pray that i will be able to have the ability to sit down and do my work , be it with people or not , and that i'll reap rewards from the hard work in my exams which are about to come . i pray for your presence and seek Your wisdom Lord , thank You for everything once again , all these through Jesus' name , amen C:

- many only dream of doing something great , but great ones dream of greater heights , knowing that sacrifice is compulsory

sometimes i wish i could have turned back time and told you everything in my heart

我比以前还更爱你了

being banned(not in a negative way) from school sucks , really . i miss my friends , i miss 2D , i miss everyone /: and now , i have to stay home during the weekends , i think ): shucks . spending the whole day at home , lazing around , when exams are coming will kill me literally . i need to pick up that momentum of being able to sit down on my own and revise again , asap . and plus , i lost my mc , in my room , so i guess fun friday became a frustrating one ; gonna mug Super hard tonight , period

and that formspring questioner who doesn't use proper engrish , the post really has no means for anybody (:

Happy October to everyone anyways , it's exams period month , nobody likes it ): and bro , if you're reading this , this is your month , will try to getcha' a gift okay (:

at the end of the day , no matter how much i deny it , i still miss you~

daily prayer : God , i'm making a move today , so that You can move in me . i pray that you will be here from now onwards until forever . i might be a 'lil dry on the inside , but God , i can feel it , the first-love feeling i had for You . reignite my mind again , with your presence and wisdom . pray all these through Jesus name , amen C:

- do not let the bastards grind you down

i'm craving for caramel milk tea from koi ):

and i really miss N441 /: